I just wanted to share one of the things that I enjoy so much about being a mom. But, before I tell you what it is, I just want you to know that I am fully aware that some of you will think I am absolutely crazy and in no way normal, but I'm going to share it anyway. So here it goes: My favorite times with Brady are in the middle of the night when he wakes up crying. And no, this is not a joke :)
As an example, Thursday night Brady got fussy and it quickly escalated to crying at about 3:30 am. The moment I hear his voice over the monitor, my first thought is "Thank you God"! Don't get me wrong, there are times when my first thought is "oh no" or "please go back to sleep", but not usually. I don't know why, but its the middle of the night when I truly realize how blessed I am to have Brady, and his crying reminds me that he is alive and well.
So, I get out of bed and head to Brady's room. I scoop him up and immediately he stops crying. Do you have any idea how good this makes me feel? It makes me feel like he was in distress and I have rescued him. Then, I fix his swaddle and we go to the rocking chair. By this time, my eyes have adjusted to the darkness and I can see him clearly with just the glow of the night lite in his room. I hold him so close and so tight and begin to rock him. He looks up at me and his eyes pierce my soul, its like he talks to me with his eyes and he is saying, "I love you and I feel safe with you". My heart simply melts and I just can't believe how lucky I really am. This isn't a dream, he really is my son and I really am his mom.
Anyway, his eyes slowly get heavier and heavier and eventually he closes them. He takes a deep breath and just like that, he is back off to dreamland. At this point its only been about 5 minutes since he woke up, but I can't bear to put him down yet. I just continue rocking him, starring at him and thanking God for him. I spend about 30 minutes with him and then remember that I have to get up and go to work the next morning, so I put him down and go back to bed.
So, why does it this middle of the night moment make me so happy? Im not sure really, but I think one of the biggest reasons is because its a time when Im not thinking about anything else or trying to juggle several tasks at once. The only thing Im worried about is comforting Brady, Im not worried about how late I am for work, or trying to get ready for work, or trying to fix dinner or anything like that. Its just me and him, in silence and peaceful darkness. I feel like I have all the time in the world to devote to just him and it makes me feel really good.
OK, that is enough of all that - now for just a good old fashioned update. Unfortunately, its not a good one as Brady is sick again. I think he has Croup again, but we haven't been to the doctor yet to confirm that. We have a doctor's appointment on Monday morning, so I'll check back in after that to let you know how he's doing.
And, just because I can't post an entry without including a photo - here are a couple of pics from today:

UPDATE
After I posted this, my friend Amy, had an interesting spin on my post that I absolutely LOVED! I have to share it here, because it is just so profound! Here what she posted on her blog:
My former next door neighbor in Dallas and friend, Ronni, put up a post about her son that I just thought was so incredibly amazing and precious!
[she copied my post here]
The post made tears fill my eyes, both with the desire to not just know but to KNOW the kind of love that she talks about and mostly because it instantly made me think that must be the way the Lord feels! Can't you just imagine that our Father feels the same way when we "cry out" for Him in the "night"? He doesn't feel like "Oh no!" or "Not now!" He's waiting to spring into action...to wrap His loving arms around us and comfort us! I'm convinced that when we lift our eyes up to Him, He must feel like we are saying, "I love you and I feel safe with you!" He wants to be wanted by us! He wants to be our safe place, our reassurance, our comfort...